I hate days like this. Its like zero gravity, like I've been swimming in the ocean for hours, just total exhaustion.
I didn't get any sleep last night, so I'm not surprised that I feel so heavy.
I actually did good in making some money today. Again, it is not enough to have as a real job. There is no way I can get by on this. But, its extra cash for now.
It was oddly cheery today. I was mutual in cheer at first. But eventually, I ran out of energy. After being sleep deprived and feeling interrogated still, although there was a cheerfulness, I was ready to leave early.
I tried to immediately go to bed but I can't.
Maybe some people want to make an obvious connection, but I still think some take things too far.
I think there was only one or two conversations where others were trying to force catty words out of me to doll me and Maggie. Fucking sadists. I had the most neutral and drone like speak anyway while staring at a wall. I need to figure out better ways to write people off or change conversation. The drama was moldy and I didn't care anyway, but it was the disgusting sadism that continuously raped on knowing I really don't care to talk to some people.
I did make more money than usual selling my scarves, so that is the main thing that matters.
There are just so many things I see that I think are inappropriate draining, and make me feel sick after being sleep deprived knowing I had some predators watching me.
I think there were a couple of guys that were trying to send "positive text messages," but I'm just not feeling good today.
If I'm still possibly getting harassed by Randy, for the millionth time I'm not interested. I don't have strong feelings for many others either.
I just want to go to sleep.
